Life 7 years out of the FALC

There are no shortage of myths, lies, and rumors about those who leave the FALC. I understand why. Some people there need to protect themselves, their lives, and their beliefs. Making up these lies and spreading them keeps them safe. They can call someone who left crazy, and that discounts the valid reason for their departure. If you act like those who left are deceived, crazy, and dangerous, it may prevent people from questioning, why?

It is intimidating for those who may be curious about why they left. It hinders people from questioning the FALC when they hear all of these horrible things being said about someone who left. It is a way to disregard someone who questions things and comes to know Jesus, and leaves.

Things I have heard people have said about myself:

1. I am still searching.

2. I am self righteous.

3. I am bitter.

4. I am a lazy homemaker and I sit around reading the Bible all day.

5. I have lost my mind.

6. I am a nut.

7. I am “woke.”

8. I am dangerous.

9. I have no peace.

None of these things are true.

1. I am searching the word of God daily.

2. I have the righteousness of Christ.

3. I am extremely blessed and grateful.

4. I work hard around the home and try to make time to read the Bible daily.

5. I have lost my life for Jesus Christ, and have found true life!

6. I am a follower of Christ. If you think that is a nut, then maybe, spend time time thinking about why do you think a follower of Jesus is crazy.

7. I woke up to the fact that I need a Savior, and His name is Jesus!

8. I am dangerous to the devil and his wicked lies. (only by His grace as He uses me to speak truth and live for His glory)

9. I have abundant peace. Nothing like the peace that Jesus gives me.

Many people there also assume that those who leave have no community, are so lonely, and have no friends.

Since I have left, I have had very few people from the FALC even ask me what my life is actually like! I believe it is out of fear. If they knew that we are thriving in our marriage, our children are delightful, we have an amazing family life, I am joyful, I love homeschooling my children, and we have a vast community, and many dear friends, it might just shake their world. So they cannot ask! The stakes are too high! (This is not all people! I know people have varying views there. This is just my experience.)

According to the people who are convinced that people who leave the FALC are crazy, bitter, and lonely, I have to be wrong. They have to be right. If I am right, and I am actually living a great life outside of their religion, that could cause them to question what they are being taught.

This is all for self-protection, not for truth seeking. It is to keep their world the way it has always been.

One person did ask me if I regret leaving. I said absolutely not, and still say that! This person also asked me why I left, and it is because the FALC does not teach the Bible, and the fruit is not according to the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Pete and Rebecca Torala wrote a 20 page document that I agree with. I shared in a blog post called, "What does the FALC believe anyways?" This explains things well!

I am going to share a bit about how life is outside of the FALC for 7 years! (Saved for 8 years)

• Our marriage is thriving. We have freedom, deep connection, joy, peace, and deeply rooted trust in each other.

• We adore our children. We teach them the Bible every day, and they all love Jesus.

• We sing worship songs and scripture songs every day.

• We dance silly together often and have a ton of laughter in our home. Silliness is welcome!

• We homeschool and are thriving with that, although it’s not perfect.

• We have people in our home often. We welcome people from all religions and walks of life into our home.

• We love to have Christians in our home often, love to share meals together, and talk about Jesus.

• We have prayer meetings and worship with Christians in our home.

• We love to downhill ski and cross country ski in the winter as a family.

• We have a pond for swimming and fishing in the summer. It is a ton of fun! We love family adventures!

• We prioritize God first, then our marriage, then our children, then everything else is after that. We spend a lot of time as a family together, and we love it.

• We love working as a family, hauling brush, or doing other projects together.

• We do not have a TV, don't watch any shows, and rarely go on social media.

• We let our kids watch movies once in a while, the same ones on repeat. Indescribable, Treasures of the snow, and Joseph on the Redeem TV app.

• We speak life over our children and call them into who God has created them to be.

• We require obedience with a happy heart from our children.

• We tell our children how amazing they are and how much we love them every single day.

• Our children tell us all the time that they love us so much. It is a treasure!!

• We do a bed time routine every night that consists of everyone saying 3 things they are thankful for, prayer, reading God’s word, and scratching backs.

• Our children are aware of much of the word of God and others' beliefs around them, and how that plays out in their lives. They are so much more perceptive than we often think children are!

• We are nowhere near perfect, but we have grace towards ourselves as we learn and grow as parents, spouses, and followers of Jesus.

• We apologize when we mess up as parents.

• We see ourselves as a family team on mission to advance the gospel, and everything we do is for Jesus and His Kingdom.

• We rarely fight in our marriage. We used to but God stripped that from us. We love each other so much and speak with kindness, grace, compassion, understanding, and deep love. Through trials we have walked through, we have learned humilty, which is foundational for a healthy marriage.

• Our children sit with us in church.

• We love the hymns that I grew up with and teach them to our kids.

• We don’t do Santa and the Easter bunny, but we do celebrate Christmas and Easter biblically.

• We seek to bless each other and put off our selfish flesh every day.

• Paul helps me a ton around the house as I am homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, and need to take care of myself too. We are best friends and teammates. Laughter and smiles fill our relationship. We absolutely love being together, and we are still strongly attracted to each other.

• Paul and I do not go on girls/guys weekends. We are not against them at all. We just have not done them in a long time. If we did go on one, it would have to be purposeful, fruitful, healing, productive, centered around the Bible, and helpful for our lives. We actually love being together as a family so much. We have our lives and dreams here. Praise the Lord.

• We have a homeschool group that we get together with, and our kids have an abundance of friends. They are not shy or socially backwards as people say homeschooled kids are.

• Our parents are helpful with our kids, babysitting and taking them on dates. We are very blessed!

• We visit our parents & family frequently.

• I am close with my sisters, and love them deeply. Our kids are best friends. We are blessed.

• I have friends from different religions and I am not afraid of that.

• We moved areas and had instant friends because of church and the homeschool group.

• I have so many friends I can call. I have deeply rooted friendships. We talk about Jesus very often. He is the center of our world. I have friends that call me higher, correct me with the word, encourage me, build me up, teach me, and pray for me. The word of God is often spoken when we are together. Bibles are brought and read together. I am not afraid of talking about prayer, the Bible, and my walk with the Lord, as it should be with Christians.

• I really try to not gossip with friends. If it does happen, we confess it and turn from it. We pray for people who are unkind to us and who are struggling.

• I go to Bible study with ladies of all ages, mostly much older than me. I have so much wisdom to glean from. I am so thankful for that.

• We have strong friendships in Howell, and we love to visit them. It is a lie that people of “the world” just skip around friends and don’t keep friends for extended periods.

• We have friends that have 11 kids. We have friends that have 3,4,5,6,7 kids. It is a lie that only people in the FALC have big families.

• Our kids are best friends with each other, and we are content staying home as a family. We teach them kindness and do not allow fighting, disrespect, name calling, lying, hitting, or anything that is not loving. (It happens but we correct it.)

• Our kids love good things like reading, piano, hockey, dogs, biking, legos, sewing, drawing, playing with friends and more!

• We bear the fruit of the Spirit in our home, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentlenss and self control. This comes not from the flesh, but the Spirit of God! It is amazing what the Lord can do in our lives when we surrender to Him.

• We do not allow ourselves to give full vent to our anger, and yell at our kids or discipline them in anger. Yelling in rare in our home. God has taught us that speaking with patience and gentleness is possible by His Spirit! And oh how sweet it is to be able to be a patient, joyful mother! This has been a journey in itself for me, as I have stumbled countless times with losing my patience. Learning how to calm my nervous system and rewire my brain was essential.

• I know make up, earrings, and nail polish are not sinful, but I choose not to partake in that because I prayed about it for a while and I do not feel led to. Paul loves me without make up, and I do not feel like myself wearing it. Plus, I often cry at church and who wants to be worrying about mascara running down their cheeks? Not me!

• We love going to church, love to worship with the body of Christ, love to hear God's word taught, and we love having fellowship with Christians after church!

There’s more of course, and I am happy to talk about anything! This is not to boast at all, but to shine a little light on the reality of leaving the FALC and going to a biblical church! It is scary. But worth it 100 times over. We are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but we are always seeking to learn and grow together. God is good! To Him be the glory!

The freedom and joy we have still, even after being saved for 8 years is unmatched! I do not desire to go back to a community that rarely mentions the name of Jesus, and where speaking God’s word is frowned upon. I love the people there very much, but a born again believer cannot just sit and talk about worldly things & people endlessly without wanting to talk about Jesus!

We have many friends in the FALC and we love them dearly! We just also know that there are an abundance of Christians in this world who love the Lord and His word, and we spend more time with them, as we want our family to have biblical friendships.

It is a lie that the FALC has a community that is not worth leaving. First of all, you can still be friends with people there if you leave. Second, is it a strong Christian community if the name of Jesus is rarely mentioned? Is the word of God spoken of among your friends? Is there gossip? Is there bullying? Is there prayer for those who are hurting? Is sin confessed and repented of? Are people being set free from sin to live for righteousness? Are broken hearts being healed by Jesus?

I myself saw a lot of bullying there when I was in middle school, high school, and college. I went through it myself! It was really hard to be picked on by people who you were "supposed" to be friends with. It really hurt my heart, self-image, and impacted me for decades. I would really recommend cosidering taking off any rose colored glasses you may have on. Is there true love and kindness amongst the youth? I hope things have changed from when I was young!

It is a lie that there is not a great community outside of the FALC! We have a ton of friends, all over the place. We have a strong community. It is not the same as the FALC, but it is better as I can speak of the Lord Jesus, the most precious treasure to me! I trust my friends that they don’t gossip about me! I am accepted, loved, and celebrated. I cherish my friends dearly.

I just want to sum this up and encourage you to take a step of faith and follow Jesus, trusting that He will provide for all of your needs, including community, as you go to a biblical church. It is worth it 100x over to leave the FALC and follow Christ. Do not believe the lies!

Is it perfect? No, it is not. But we strive for obedience to God’s word, and the blessings far outweigh the downsides.

I pray this blesses you and you start to realize that life can be so much brighter, beautiful, and free than you ever imagined. Paul and I are living it. We often say that our lives feel like a fairy tale with all the love and life we have in our home, family, and friends. You are made for more. You are made for abundant life. May we be an example for you, and you can have true abundance too.

This is what Jesus came for. To give us life and life abundantly.

Are you living the abundant life in Jesus?