Life 7 years out of the FALC

There are no shortage of myths, lies, and rumors about those who leave the FALC. I understand why. Some (not all) people there need to protect themselves, their lives, and their beliefs. Making up these lies and spreading them keeps them safe. And maybe they really do believe it. They can call someone who left crazy, and that discounts the valid reason for their departure. If you act like those who left are deceived, crazy, and dangerous, it may prevent people from questioning, why?

It is intimidating for those who may be curious about why they left. It hinders people from questioning the FALC when they hear all of these horrible things being said about someone who left. It is a way to disregard someone who questions things and comes to know Jesus, and leaves.

Things I have heard people have said about myself:

1. I am still searching.

2. I am self righteous.

3. I am bitter.

4. I have lost my mind.

5. I am “woke.”

None of these things are true.

1. I am searching the word of God daily, because I need His truth.

2. By faith, I have the righteousness of Christ, and will get to heaven only because of what He has done for me.

3. Thankfully, I am not bitter, but I am extremely blessed and grateful.

4. I have lost my life for Jesus Christ, and have found true life!

5. I woke up to the fact that I need a Savior, and His name is Jesus!

Many people there also assume that those who leave have no community, are so lonely, and have no friends. There are assumptions that everyone who leaves is miserable. I have even had someone tell me that everyone who leaves becomes a drinker and a druggie. These assertions are simply not true. I believe that the only way someone can hold onto these beliefs is by spending most time with people from the FALC without questioning anything, purposely ignoring evidence that contradicts these beliefs, while looking for proof that everyone outside of the religion is in fact living a lousy life, and assuming this about everyone on the outside.

The truth is, we are thriving in our marriage (it is much better than it was when we were in the FALC), we delight in our children, we have an amazing family life, I am joyful, I love homeschooling my children, and we have a vast community, and many dear friends.

According to the people who are convinced that people who leave the FALC are crazy, bitter, and lonely, I have to be wrong. They have to be right. If I am right, and I am actually living a great life outside of their religion, that could cause them to question what they are being taught.

This is all out of fear and for self-protection, not for truth seeking. It is to keep their world the way it has always been. What is more important to you? Truth or comfort? If something someone does or says contradicts your beliefs, do you ask questions? Or do you run away out of fear that this could change your world if you considered this?

One person did ask me if I regret leaving. I said absolutely not, and still say that! This person also asked me why I left, and it is because the FALC does not teach the Bible, but they cherry pick verses and make it all about their church and the blessing (which it is not). Also the fruit is not according to the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). Pete and Rebecca Torala wrote a 20 page document that I agree with. I shared in a blog post called, "What does the FALC believe anyways?" This explains things well!

I am going to share a bit about how life is outside of the FALC for 7 years! (Saved for 8 years)

• Our marriage is thriving. We have freedom, love, deep connection, joy, peace, and deeply rooted trust in each other.

• We adore our children. We teach them the Bible every day.

• We sing worship songs and scripture songs every day.

• We dance silly together often and have a ton of laughter in our home.

• We homeschool and are thriving with that, although it’s not perfect, it is good.

• We have people in our home often. We welcome people from all religions and walks of life into our home.

• We love to have Christians in our home often, share meals together, pray, worship, and talk about Jesus & His word.

• We love to downhill ski and cross country ski in the winter as a family.

• We have a pond for swimming and fishing in the summer. It is a ton of fun! We love family adventures.

• We prioritize God first, then our marriage, then our children, then everything else is after that. We spend a lot of time as a family together, and we love it.

• We love working as a family, hauling brush, planting flowers, cleaning, or doing other projects together.

• We do not have a TV, don't watch any shows, and rarely go on social media.

• We let our kids watch movies once in a while, the same ones on repeat. Indescribable, Treasures of the snow, Anne of Green Gables, and Joseph on the Redeem TV app. Once in a blue moon we will watch something else together as a family.

• We speak life over our children and call them into who God has created them to be.

• We require obedience with a happy heart from our children.

• We tell our children how amazing they are and how much we love them every single day.

• Our children tell us all the time that they love us so much. It is a treasure!

• We do a bed time routine every night that consists of everyone saying 3 things they are thankful for, prayer, reading God’s word, sometimes a read aloud, and if they are lucky, scratching backs.

• Our children are aware of much of the word of God and others' beliefs around them, and how that plays out in their lives. They are so much more perceptive than we often think children are!

• We are nowhere near perfect, but we have grace towards ourselves as we learn and grow as parents, spouses, and followers of Jesus.

• We apologize when we mess up as parents.

• We see ourselves as a family team on mission to advance the gospel, and everything we do is for Jesus and His Kingdom.

• We rarely fight in our marriage. We used to but God stripped that from us. We love each other so much and speak with kindness, grace, compassion, understanding, and deep love. Through trials we have walked through, we have learned humilty, which is foundational for a healthy marriage.

• Our children sit with us in church.

• We love the hymns that I grew up with and teach them to our kids.

• We don’t do Santa and the Easter bunny, but we do celebrate Christmas and Easter biblically.

• We seek to bless each other and put off our selfish flesh every day.

• Paul helps me a ton around the house as I am homeschooling, cooking, cleaning, and need to take care of myself too. We are best friends and teammates. Laughter and smiles fill our relationship. We absolutely love being together, and we are still strongly attracted to each other.

• Paul and I do not go on girls/guys weekends. We are not against them at all. We just have not done them in a long time. If we did go on one, it would have to be purposeful, fruitful, productive, centered around the Bible, and helpful for our lives. We actually love being together as a family so much. We have our lives and dreams here. Praise the Lord.

• We have a homeschool group that we get together with, and our kids have an abundance of friends. They are not shy or socially backwards as people say homeschooled kids are.

• Our parents are helpful with our kids, babysitting and taking them on dates. We are very blessed!

• We visit our parents & family frequently.

• I am close with my sisters, and love them deeply. Our kids are best friends.

• I have friends from different churches and I am not afraid of that.

• We moved areas and had instant friends because of church and the homeschool group.

• I have so many friends I can call. I have deeply rooted friendships. We talk about Jesus very often. He is the center of our world. I have friends that call me higher, correct me with the word, encourage me, build me up, teach me, and pray for me. The word of God is often spoken when we are together. I am not afraid of talking about prayer, the Bible, and my walk with the Lord, as it should be with Christians.

• I really try to not gossip with friends. If it does happen, we confess it and turn from it. We pray for people who are unkind to us and who are struggling.

• I go to Bible study (occasionally) with ladies of all ages, mostly much older than me.

• We have strong friendships in Howell, and we love to visit them. It is a lie that people of “the world” just skip around friends and don’t keep friends for extended periods.

• We have friends that have 11 kids. We have friends that have 3,4,5,6,7 kids. It is a lie that only people in the FALC have big families.

• Our kids are best friends with each other, and we are content staying home as a family. We teach them kindness and do not allow fighting, disrespect, name calling, lying, hitting, or anything that is not loving. (It happens but we correct it.)

• Our kids love good things like reading, piano, hockey, dogs, biking, legos, sewing, drawing, playing with friends and more!

• We do not justify giving full vent to our anger, yelling at our kids or disciplining them in anger. If it does happen, we confess and apologize. Yelling is rare in our home. God has taught us that speaking with patience and gentleness is possible by His Spirit! And oh how sweet it is to be able to be a patient, joyful mother! (Only because of Christ in me, He gets the glory). This has been a journey in itself for me, as I have stumbled countless times with losing my patience.

• I know make up, earrings, and nail polish are not sinful, but I choose not to partake in that because I prayed about it for a while and I do not feel led to. Paul loves me without make up, and I do not feel like myself wearing it. Plus, I often cry during worship at church and who wants to be worrying about mascara running down their cheeks? Not me!

• We love going to church, love to worship with the body of Christ, love to hear God's word taught, and we love having fellowship with Christians after church!

This is not to boast at all, but to shine a little light on the reality of leaving the FALC and going to a biblical church & following Jesus! It is scary. But worth it 100 times over. We are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but we are always seeking to learn and grow together. God is good! To Him be the glory!

The freedom and joy we have still, even after being saved for 8 years is unmatched! I do not desire to go back to a community where God’s word is not paramount. I love the people there very much, but a born again believer cannot just sit and talk about worldly things & people endlessly without wanting to talk about the Lord.

We have many friends in the FALC and we love them dearly! We just also know that there are an abundance of Christians in this world who love the Lord and His word, and we spend more time with them, as we want our family to have biblical, Christ-centered friendships.

It is a lie that the FALC has a community that is not worth leaving. First of all, you can still be friends with people there if you leave. Of course, it will change, but true friends stick around. Second, is it a strong Christ-centered Christian community? Is the word of God spoken, studied, and obeyed? Is God glorified, thanked, and praises in conversation? Is encouragement through God’s word common? Is this community known to the world for their love for Jesus, Christ-likeness, and desire to share the gospel? Are questions about faith and the Bible welcomed? Is there a hatred of sin and a hunger and thirst for righteousness (Matthew 5:6)? Is there prayer for those who are in bondage to sin and darkness? Is there a desire to see the gospel go forth, people of this world being saved and following Jesus? Is there a care for missions across the world? Is there even knowledge of the world and how many people have never heard the name of Jesus, and a desire to get God’s word to them? What does the mission board at the FALC do? Share the gospel, or something else?

Is there gossip? Is there bullying? Is there disrespect and arrogance? Is sin confessed and repented of? Are people being set free from sin to live for righteousness? Are broken hearts being healed by Jesus?

I saw a lot of bullying there when I was in middle school, high school, and college. I went through it myself! It was really hard to be picked on by people who you were "supposed" to be friends with. It really hurt my heart, self-image, and impacted me for decades. I would really recommend considering taking off any rose colored glasses you may have on. Is there true love, respect, holiness, and kindness amongst the youth? I hope things have changed from when I was young!

It is a lie that there is not a great community outside of the FALC! We have a ton of friends, all over the place. We have a strong community. It is not the same as the FALC, and is not perfect, but it is better as I can speak of the Lord Jesus and the Bible, the most precious treasure to me! I have sisters in Christ who pray for me, encourage me with truth, love me, and desire to see me walk closely with Jesus. I cherish my friends dearly. There are many “one another’s” in the Bible, and strong biblical community is very important for your walk with Christ. You are not meant to do this alone!

I just want to sum this up and encourage you to take a step of faith and follow Jesus, trusting that He will provide for all of your needs, including community, as you go to a biblical church. It is worth it 100x over to leave the FALC and follow Christ. Do not believe the lies!

Is it perfect? No, it is not. But we strive for obedience to God’s word, and the blessings far outweigh the downsides.

Jesus came to give us life and life abundantly.

Are you living the abundant life in Jesus?